I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
