bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.