Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
