I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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