i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
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