I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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