Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I intend to get homeless drunk
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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