It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize