...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
