Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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