I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
