How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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