On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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