Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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