The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
