the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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