The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
