good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
