never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
