Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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