Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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