I just gift wrapped bread.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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