Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
