im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
