do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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