Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
