when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
