physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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