Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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