i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
