one might say we're banned from that church
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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