you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
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i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
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You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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