just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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