I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
