There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Randomize
