I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
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