The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
