We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
My dick has a subreddit
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄