I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize