Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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