I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
