ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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