went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
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