I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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