My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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