never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
