so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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