No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
