David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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