also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I am mentally ready for anal.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
