I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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