I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
