So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
